This is the Cheatham County Sheriff’s Report for June 17, 2022, provided by the Sheriff’s Office.
SHERIFF’S REPORT: WHY CHEATHAM GOES NAKED & WILD
So there she was. Standing her ground on another Saturday night and ripe for fighting. Throwing his stuff around the house, he was too tired to fight back. After decades together, he claimed she was fed up with never being the man he should be.
Drinking and drugging never makes a love story last. Too much eventually carries a cost between young birds who are now approaching their senior nesting. We were called to be the re-uniter (As seen on TV). No amount of police can solve a problem that goes back to the family. We wish we could.
Our week was like a curious cat on a hot tin roof. Lots of hissing, screeching and clawing with some quiet moments after “time out” in the litter box. No cool cat wants to be sent to the box but one little kitten was almost squashed by a deputy’s cruiser. She was rescued, fed and now answers as “deputy jailbait”.
Your sheriff has been on a personal mission against county “terrorist predators” Ten evil and voracious squirrels have been captured so far and safely released into a wooded managed area. One randy raccoon protested, attacking Deputy Zoey (sheriff’s personal killer cat) and washed all of her cat food.
Randy was whisked away as well to the WMA for re-education by nature’s way. And then Anthony Armadillo showed up to show his right to party and root up the yard. Finally, his morning ended in the cage and a one way ride to the state’s wildlife paradise as well.
Sheriff’s next job: There’s a “new squirrel-screaming sheriff” in town.
Items blocking the right of way this week included three deers protesting on Deerfield drive, two trees including a smuggled Oregon pine laid down near Autumn Woods, one loveseat missing both cushions with old coins spilling out on Wade Reed, someone’s Cpap machine pushing it’s last breath on Sam’s Creek, a volume of never read National Geographics on Valley View, and suspicious, but fresh bear dung on Bearwallow. Investigations are underway.
Remember the ATM heist in Pegram? Suspects were recently apprehended and identified as a crew out of Texas going on a southeastern tear, until one thug rapped about it. Federal investigators are leading the case and we hope their many investigatory roads lead to Cheatham.
Deputies stayed busy this week including a serious trauma on Bethel, shots fired from a vehicle on Thomasville, disturbing the peace on Lillard Williams, gunshots on Overlook, damaged guardrails by a converted, souped-up, gas guzzling Prius on 40, a verbal altercation on Greenbrier and an unruly 8 year-old on Bobbitt who maybe just needed a little stern discipline.
There was a child custody matter on Sams Creek, suicidal thoughts on Goosebay, and a home cleaner named “Hazel” who showed up on Hells Bells Court and allegedly cleaned the wrong house. Residents refused to prosecute and asked for Hazel’s cell number.
The heat was horrendous this week but Friday roared in with a vengeance. Strong, fast storms caused numerous trees to be downed all over the county. A tragic accident involving a farm tractor caused a new Cheatham resident to succumb from his injuries.
Our sorrowful condolences. What a week… Stay safe and appreciate life every day, Team Cheatham.
