Cheatham County Sheriff’s Report for June 24

From Cheatham County Sheriff's Office

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From Cheatham County Sheriff Facebook
From Cheatham County Sheriff Facebook

This is the Cheatham County Sheriff’s Report for June 24, 2022, provided by the Sheriff’s Office.

SHERIFF’S REPORT: EXTRAORDINARY MOMENTS OF JUST STICKING WITH IT.

DANNY VOWELL was wanted (Like forever) but had a system to keep him on the run because a “family and friend package” helped his dodgery into the hills and hollows. Finally, even friends and families were tired of his bad behavior but not quite enough to get him on the government roster.

A call was made to dispatchers and the oncoming, new twelve-hour deputy shift banded with previous, exhausted servants to stick it out. All deputies developed a plan and went back to the woods.

Sure enough, when VOWELL saw a large band of brothers and sisters approaching, he bolted for the “jungle baby.” Maybe he was shocked, or just in awe of Cheatham’s resolve.. This time, no amount of leaves, sticks or rattling snakes could hide him. VOWELL gave up and was cuffed up. Your protectors are amazing!

A boy, trying to impress his new girl, invited her to sail away with him on the Harpeth. As his love swooned while the sun set, he probably didn’t plan on paddling into darkness. Panic quickly set in as the water kept rippling.

Sweaty armpits gave up his manhood and he could not continue the bravado. First responders found the couple four hours later and pulled them to safety. Love may have been temporarily lost in the heart of darkness but, if she’s willing, will be ignited again onto another moonlight’s bliss.

She was just driving on Hwy.12 to her destination when the natural curve came upon her. Negotiating it with proper caution, the other driver coming her way was not so much exercising anything. Being “F’ed” was more important.

Swerving into her lane probably only allowed this wonderful citizen to think, “oh no” and then they collided. The force was so extreme that both car tops almost touched each other in their violent, bowing arch.

This beautiful mom died violently. The alleged drunk driver survived. Your first responders were emotionally affected but their professionalism endured while working through her moment of finality. Words cannot describe a pain left behind for her family, with such disregard by another.

There were unruly campers at the Cheatham Dam when one reportedly dared the other to tickle the butt of a seasoned park raccoon. After some scratching and biting, it was reported “wild-ass screams like I ain’t ever heard before!”-Deltoid the fisherman. Everything worked out and camping drunks were told to settle down.

boat cheatham sheriff
Photo from Cheatham County Sheriff

Other “Water-Way News” alerted deputies to an abandoned boat on Thursday and the fear that someone possibly drowned. After an immediate investigation, the owner of the boat was located and stated his “piece of $&%!, Bayliner broke down.”

(Some “absurd creativity” was penned only to make you smile through our week of craziness).

SERIOUS ADVICE: Cheatham’s waterways are very dangerous and deadly so please get off of the water before dark, unless you’re a professional frog-gigger.

Have a safe and happy weekend Team Cheatham!

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